Reaching out to the Netjeru

There were some things I wanted to write about, but I’ve been too tired to put a blog post together, so here is a summary of the past few days:

July 23:
I have my own space now, so I finally got to reach out to the Netjeru, and I’m very happy about that.

I invited them in, offered some tea and chocolate, and introduced myself. Well, I kind of fumbled the introduction; when I started talking, I suddenly forgot everything I wanted to say, so there was a period of “umm…uhh…umm…” followed by rambling on whatever random topics I could think of.

I didn’t want to talk about sad things on our first meeting, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I kinda started talking about something that’s been weighing on me lately, and then I started crying. Not what I had in mind for a first meeting. I tried to get back to a happier topic by playing some music and talking about my interests, like art and books. And then I ate the chocolate and drank the tea.

I don’t know man. I thought I had a plan for what I was going to say, but apparently not.

Also, I can’t tell if anyone was even there. I think probably yes, because from what other people have said, they do listen even if you can’t hear them.

July 24:
This time I wrote some things down. I felt a bit silly reading from a script, but that’s better than totally fumbling it.

This time the Netjeru got pizza pockets and water. I introduced myself again, this time properly. I talked a little bit about what my goals in life are. I wasn’t just reading the whole thing; I added things too, but having the main points written down helped a lot.

I also set down a couple rules, which basically amount to “Don’t troll my guests.” I mean, I wasn’t really expecting that to happen, but I just want to make sure. Especially since one of my friends is really uncomfortable with spirits.

I had a question too, but I don’t have a god-radio, so I’m not sure how to get an answer. I wanted to try a pendulum but was too tired, so I put that off until the next day.

July 25:
Tried the pendulum, it didn’t work. My hand has a bit of a tremor, so it was hard to get it to stop moving. Finally I found a position that kept my hand steady, but then when I asked if anyone was there, it didn’t move at all. I tried waiting a bit and asked again, still nothing.

I don’t know if pendulums are just not my thing, or if no one was listening, or if the thing I used just doesn’t make a good pendulum. (I used a necklace-watch on a chain.)

I didn’t feel like trying again that night, since it was already late and I was tired. I may try again some other day, but I’m not very hopeful.

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much communication, and I’m fine with the Netjeru being quiet for the most part. I can just live my life, share meals, and talk to them even if I don’t hear back from them.

Since I don’t have a god-radio, I don’t want to ask questions unless it’s absolutely necessary. But this is something I really need to know, so it’s kind of frustrating that I’m not getting an answer.

So that’s where I am right now.

Psychic hygiene 101: grounding

firejourneygirl:

An excellent post. Visualisations don’t work for me, so this is helpful. I want to try a few of the methods mentioned, but just from reading through the list, I already noticed a couple things that work for me. I hadn’t realised until now that what I was feeling was grounding; I knew there was something going on but I didn’t know what. Well, that makes sense now.

Originally posted on The Serpent's Labyrinth:

So the other day I made a post about astral travel, and a conversation developed in the threads about energetic overload that can develop when doing such work.  I’ve experienced this before, though I tend to experience it more when doing oracular work and scribe work.  This feeling can be quite uncomfortable, and indeed, one may feel psychically like their circuits are blown for a bit (it can cause energetic damage if it happens too often in a short period of time); I have known a couple people who actually thrive on the ungroundedness and energy surges, but it’s worth noting said people tended to be more “manic” in nature and had addictive behaviors as well as situations where they weren’t really having to deal with too many responsibilities.

I consider knowing how to ground to be an essential part of a magical practise or a spirit-work practise (or…

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I Feel Wyrdly Whole

firejourneygirl:

I’m not Heathen, but this really resonates with me. The interconnectedness of everything is a major part of my worldview. I’m just going to reblog since I agree with all of it.

Originally posted on Torch and Hailstone:

I love being Heathen. It has brought a sense of wholeness and contentment that I never had as an atheist. I think this sense has to do with the concept of Wyrd.

Heathenry for me (and probably pantheism/animism in general) fosters a sense of our world being complete somehow, like everything that there is and ever was and ever will be is part of a coherent whole, even if we’re too small to see it. Whatever happens to us or our earth or the universe is okay, really, because it’s all one big system made up of smaller systems. The Whole, made up of the universe, is organic.

That’s not to say that whatever happens happens for a reason. I find that this idea usually assumes that ‘for a reason’ means ‘for eventual human benefit’, which is anthropocentric and therefore ridiculous. It also tends to imply that there is something…

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The things that matter to me

There are two things that I care about: the well-being of the Earth, and my own well-being. There are also some other things I care about, to a lesser extent, but these are the ones that really matter to me.

I am writing this because my last post kind of made it sound like it’s all about the Earth and nothing else, and that’s inaccurate.

My well-being is mostly under control; I have good days and bad days, but generally I do pretty well at taking care of myself, so I don’t feel like I need to worry about that. The Earth on the other hand, is majorly fucked up, and my attempts to help are not doing enough to change that. So I end up thinking/worrying about that a lot, and that might make it seem like it’s the only thing I care about, but it’s not, it’s just the most vocal one.

I’ve been meaning to write up a post about self-care, and this looks like a good intro. What follows is what works for me personally, ymmv.

Self-care has various aspects. Part of it is keeping myself healthy and functional; eating and sleeping enough, exercise, avoiding stress as much as possible, going to the optometrist, not pushing myself past my limits (physically or emotionally) etc. But self-care is not just about staying functional; it’s not enough to just survive; we should live, and thrive. For me, one of the best ways to do that is with creativity. Art, crafting, music.

As such, creativity is a very important part of my life. I didn’t list it in my “things that really matter” because it’s already included in the “my well-being” category. Other things that enrich my life include reading for pleasure, going for walks, especially in places with lot of trees, swimming, good conversations, and religion.

These are all things that are not “necessary” in the strictest sense–ie, I could function without them–but they all important because they enrich my life. They make the difference between merely existing, and living.

Another thing that’s not “necessary” in the strictest sense, but is highly beneficial, is sex. It can be alone or with an other person, and orgasm is not always necessary. I hope that’s not TMI. I thought it important to mention sex as a form of self-care, because satisfying that craving versus ignoring it can make a big difference in my general well-being.

Other things… Sometimes I like to play video games. They are fun, but most of them don’t really enrich my life, so I’m not as excited about them, and don’t play very often. There are other activities I could do which would be enriching in addition to being fun, so if I have a choice, I’ll go for one of those. The less something benefits my well-being, the less I care about it.

Television in general is not something I would consider beneficial–quite the opposite–which makes most of it feel like a waste of time to me. However, there are some TV series that I feel DO enrich my life, so I watch those. But even the ones that I find worth watching are not as good as doing something hands-on. The more actively engaged I am in an activity, the more beneficial it is to my well-being. TV is very passive. I mostly watch stuff when I’m eating dinner, and thus can’t do any other activity because my hands are busy. I like my shows, but I don’t like sitting passively for extended periods of time.

Interestingly, books don’t feel as passive. Books are somewhere in the middle; more passive than doing arts and crafts or going for a walk, but more active than TV. I’m not sure what makes a reading a story different from watching a story, but there’s a noticeable difference for me.

There are also some people who enrich my life, but that’s a relatively small part of my life. Most of my interpersonal interactions happen online, and I’m happy with that.

Limits

Often, I feel like I’m not doing enough [for the Earth*]. I have to remind myself that I only have so many spoons, and if I push myself to the point of burnout, then I won’t be able to do anything at all. Better to take frequent breaks and do “pointless” things, to rest and recharge when I need to, so that tomorrow I can get back to working on things that matter.

I hate that I’m so frequently low on spoons, and have to take breaks so often. But I have my limits (both physical and mental/emotional) and there’s nothing I can do about that.

I’m trying not to be too disappointed with myself when it’s something outside my control, but it’s hard. It’s so hard, because I wish I could do so much more, but it’s not possible for me to even come close.

Is this really the best I can do? I’m not sure. I want to look for ways for me to do more. I think that’s a good thing to work on, as long as I keep my limits in mind and don’t beat myself up over them. It’s just hard to be satisfied, knowing I can never do enough to make a difference. But I do what I can; it’s the only thing I can do.

*If anyone is thinking of saying “Fire, you’re not obligated to do anything…” Don’t. In the entire history of existence, there is nothing more important to me.

Waiting

Today I went for a walk, and really wanted to reach out to the gods–I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time–but I felt like it would be pointless to say hello just to say “You probably won’t hear from me for a few months…”

Here’s the situation: When I was looking for an apartment a couple years ago, a friend of mine was looking for a roommate. That worked out well. She’s pagan, so she’s cool with me being similar.

However, there is a downside: the apartment we share is a spirit-free space, and I have agreed not to invite in any non-corporeal entities. When I moved in, I had no interest in talking to gods or spirits, and I didn’t forsee that ever changing, so that’s never been an issue…until recently.

I’ve been waiting patienty until I get my own place, but I’m starting to run out of patience. I think it’s been 2-3 months since I decided I want to say hello to the Netjeru, about a month since I added Loki to the list of people I want to meet.

(I use the word “people” to refer to any kind of beings; humans, animals, gods, spirits. I hope that doesn’t offend anyone.)

It might be possible to talk to gods through the wards without inviting them in, but it seems rude to me to say, “Hey, I’d like to chat, but you’re not allowed to come inside.”

I could *maybe* talk to them outside, but there aren’t any secluded places nearby, and I feel uneasy about talking to gods when there might be other people around.

The wait is becoming frustrating, but, agreements asside, I don’t feel right doing something that my friend is not comfortable with.

I think that if I don’t have anything lined up by the end of this month, I will ask my friend to remove her wards from my room and create a barrier between her space and mine, so that I can invite people into my room without violating her space. Moving would be much simpler, but we’ll see.

Mafdet yeah! [dream]

I had a weird and interesting dream. I was going somewhere and took a shortcut through a large building, like a hotel or something. I saw one of my friends in the lobby; he was a janitor. In real life he’s a programmer, so I don’t know why he was a janitor in the dream.

I wanted to go say hello but there were too many people in between us. He was hanging out with a couple other janitors. Friends of his, it looks like. Then there was hugging all around, but there were an odd number of people, so this one woman got left out, and I was like “I’ll hug you, random stranger!”

So we hugged, and then she asked if she could give me a brochure. I was invardly rolling my eyes, thinking “ugh, not another religious brochure.” I suppose it could have been a political brochure, or something about a charity; I kind of just automatically assumed it would be a religious thing. But it usually is, right?

Anyway, it wasn’t that. Guess what it was. Guess. First of all, it wasn’t really a brochure, it was a booklet about the size of a colouring book, and it was about Mafdet. Like historical stuff, a section on hieroglyps, things like that. Not asking anyone to do anything, just “here is some interesting info because it’s interesting.” It was neat.

So that was unexpected. I was like, “…you want give me info about Mafdet? Hell yeah!” and I quickly took the booklet in case my initial hesitation came across as a “no.”

I was aware that I still had to get to where I was going, but I was more interested in the booklet. I couldn’t read it, though. Whenever I try to read any books in dreams, I can never make out anything on the page. Probably because my brain doesn’t have any information to draw on to produce the words.

Anyway, that was probably the best “brochure” I’ve ever been handed, even if it wasn’t real. The dream also had a positive side-effect: I’ve been having trouble getting up in the morning lately, but today I woke up with a mindset of “Yeah! Let’s do this!”

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